I know you's probably out with some bitch. Soon as I walk in the house, she wakes up, she goes off. I come in the house, right? Come in the house, like, 4: 00 in the morning. It's the real deal, help me! Help me! (very exaggerated) Nigga! Help me! My friend Harry ignored all signs, okay? Let me tell you how shit hit the fan. That means, "The bitch got the drop on us. If I'm looking at you and I'm not blinking, if I'm like this… (staring wide eyed with his hands open) (crowd laughs) that's a goddamn sign. If you're my real best friend, you should know that I need you to lie for me by the look on my face. The day that we signed up and said that we best friends, that means that (pointing back and forth) my bullshit is your bullshit. You know why? 'Cause you're my best fucking friend, bitch. I shouldn't have to ask your permission for me to put you in my lie. If you're my best friend, I shouldn't have to ask you to lie for me. Now I don't think that's a bad thing to do. And I didn't just lie on myself, I put my best friend in my lie.
If I'd had been honest about it, might have worked it out. Do I think cheating was the problem? No, I don't. The only way that you could be perfect is to fuck up. You can't evolve as a man if you never make a mistake. (crowd laughs) Let's talk about it, though, let's figure it out.
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